Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I have made it clear todayI want to try living without youI know it's not going to be easyTrue enough, it's difficult, it's painful
Honey told me I will sure feel the pain, but it's bearable. I will be back on my feet. But when?
Feel like a bitch.
I let him go, and I'm the one who is not making it easier for myself to move on.
From the moment I msged him, I couldn't help tearing. Even during training, I had this image of him with a new gal.. and i could feel my eyes getting hot and teary. I'm the one who let him go. So shouldn't I be already prepared to lose him? Maybe not yet.
Had dinner with honey and her parents after training.
When driving my way home, I could have just continue going straight but there's this strong urge.. and I just speed my way to his place. However, as I was about to reach his house, my legs turned weak. My heart felt heavy.
I slowly drove past his house, looking up at his window. The lights were on. I knew he was in his room. But then I couldn't see him. So I made a few more rounds, each time hoping that I can get a glimpse of him. I drove past 3 times, still can't see him. Then I parked just behind his car, listening to the songs playing in my car, thinking about the times we were together. Wondering what is he doing? Was he thinking of me? Has he given up on me as well?
I stared at his car, stared at his window. That feeling.. something new to me. He's so near but yet so far. I told myself I will leave at 10:30. As I look at the clock in my car turned 10:27pm, I started crying. I know I gotta go, but then I cannot bear to.
I stopped just outside his window, and finally I saw him doing his work at this study table. He happened to look outside his window and he saw me. And I quickly shifted my gear to Drive and speed off. Then he sms me to ask if that was me. I didn't reply.
Silly me.
Hey, 我真的好想你。 你是否也和我一样在想你？





This is actually the first time I feel the lyrics to Better In Time.
It's time I let you go So I can be freeAnd live my life how it should be No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without youYes I will
I told him I want to try living without him for a few days. But I know I'll get used to it. And by then, I'd have moved on.
Just a feeling... feeling that I am ready to start moving on.
"It's gonna hurt when it heals too"
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